Just because I’ve never had my heart broken doesn’t mean I’ve never had heart ache. I admittedly have had a very few girls like me enough to go out with me if I asked them. Yet I know for a fact that they would soon be rid of this desire since our mindsets were worlds apart. There’s people out there that will tell me that I’m still young at 27, but to me that’s an old age to be at without ever being in any kind of romantic relationship. It’s not a pleasant feeling when it seems that there’s no one on the planet that will ever be more into me than anything else (with the exception of God, who should ALWAYS come first). As much as I’m totally fine being single, there’s still the sting of rejection.
But the real heart ache doesn’t come because of my inability to enter a
romantic relationship. What really devastates me and moves me to tears
is seeing evil win in this world. The time I shed the most tears of my
life was when a friend committed suicide. I wish I could have been
around more, to show him that his life had value, a God-given purpose,
even if he couldn’t see it. Yet suicide is happening all around me,
although at a much slower rate. What I mean by this is that whenever
someone rejects Jesus and the purpose He has for them, they are bringing
the death penalty needlessly on themselves. I see people on the course
to spend eternity in Hell, when the way to eternal happiness is so
apparent to me.
Perhaps one of the reasons I’m a less emotional person as a whole is
because the sensitivity I have to the big issue stuff, like the fate of
people’s eternal happiness, doesn’t allow much room to “sweat the small
stuff.” So it seems like I’ve gone crazy to you, or at least that I
look a bit harried, I want you to know that the fact that I have no wife
to tether me down only has the smallest part in it. The sanity that I
do have (I promise you I’m not insane, and everything I’m saying here
I’m able to back up with rock-solid logic) is afforded me by the peace
God graces me with.
There’s an evil darkness encompassing the world, and it’s claiming
lives, some faster than others, and I refuse to idly stand by instead of
frantically pointing to the readily available escape into the light and
eternal happiness. I know for a fact that perhaps this isn’t the best
way to get the message across, but I also know that God is strong enough
to use all of his for his glory even in our weaknesses.