(First part Written on May 9, 2013, second part written on May 11, 2013)
Written by the esteemed astrologist, Stephen Selke
(be sure to read message at the end)
Aries (3/21 - 4/19)
You will be anxious to spend some time in the sun today. Summer is calling to you, run out, and embrace it. If you wear something new, your peers will say they love it, regardless if it doesn't suit you.
Taurus (4/20 - 5/20)
You will feel like doing something special today, something you normally don't do. Approaching your decision to do so with logic will prove advantageous. Also today you should do your best to wear matching socks.
Gemini (5/21 - 6/21)
Today is not a normal day for you. Routine is not your ally today. If you insist on doing something monotonous today you will feel like your life is redundant. If you try out a new recipe today, the results will be enlightening.
Cancer (6/22 - 7/22)
Don't let your feelings of pride overcomes you. Although you are an awesome person, today is a day to direct your attention to people around you. You will not regret being courteous to other people, and going that extra mile today to make someone else feel special.
Leo (7/23 - 8/22)
Today will you see one or more of the following three items: a pebble, a snowflake, or a blade of grass. Individually these items hold no significance. Together they don't hold any significance either. Also you should drink at least one cup of water today.
Virgo (8/23 - 9/22)
There is one person in your on your mind that rubs you the wrong way. If it's a girl and you see her today, smile at her and say that that she looks good. If it's a dude, be polite but don't try to joke with him: even if he laughs he won't find you very funny.
Libra (9/23 - 10/22)
Financially you will be given the opportunity to make an expenditure. Do what is best for the long run. If you don't have a financial plan made, today would be a good day to establish one.
Scorpio (10/23 - 11/21)
Avoid killing any creature bigger than the size of a baseball today. Unless it is going to harm you, in which case only refrain from defending violently if it's bigger than you are, in which case you should probably flee if you are able. If you missed breakfast today, make sure you have it tomorrow.
Sagittarius (11/22 - 12/21)
Today you will see a blonde, a brunette, and a red head. But chances are you won't see a group of two redheads with two blondes and two brunettes all travelling in a tidy group together. If you do see this, buying a lotto ticket composed of the numbers two and zero within the next twenty minutes will give you a 2.02% better chance than anyone else to win the lottery.
Capricorn (12/22 - 1/19)
Today is the day to give that extra little push towards your New Year's resolution. If you don't have a New Year's resolution, remember, today is the first day of the rest of your life. If you're scheduled to die tomorrow then you should probably hurry up and finish all your life's goals.
Aquarius (1/20 - 2/18)
Today, don't trust your emotions. Don't trust your instinct. In fact, don't even trust your own mind. Instead, do your best to approach today's tough decisions with advice from the wisest sources you can think of.
Pisces (2/19 - 3/20)
Merely by reading this horoscope you failed in what you should have done today: not look to your horoscope to reveal today's fate and instead make your own fate. But now you're fated to discover what this horoscope's fate has in fate for you, and what a fate that will be!
In case you actually thought these were a legitimate horoscopes, and read just one and not figured it out... that whole last bit was a joke, and meant for entertainment purposes only. I know most of you figured this out, but one of the things about horoscopes that I was making fun of is how vague they tend to be.
Then again, I could be wrong - I don’t pay attention to horoscopes. I avoid them.
From what I could gather with very minimal research...
There are supernatural two sources of power at work in our world: God’s and Satan’s. They work through their own and their followers’ power (although I would argue that the only one with real power is God and any attempt at power by any other entity is possible only by God’s allowance). As a result, prophesy and future telling is possible.
The thing is, only those who work by the work of the Holy Spirit’s power are able to predict the future with 100% accuracy. Am I saying that demons can tell the future at least with a reduced level of accuracy. Sure, yes I am.
Now there are those who would say that the demons are only able to estimate the future, based on an individual’s or group of people’s observed nature. They use this knowledge of the way the natural world works to predict the future. I’m not going to argue against this. I will say that it is my personal theory that demons can see bits and pieces of the future, but only what God allows them to see. As far as I gathered, some very convincing prophesies have come true that were made by secular, non-Christian prophets. Demons may be bound by time and space, but not in the same way we are. In my opinion.
Regardless of how they do it, it remains apparent that horoscopes are scarily accurate for some people. I read somewhere that it comes true for them because they are accepting Satan’s future for them instead of God’s future for them. Perhaps that’s one way to put it.
Remember the book “The Secret” and it’s claimed “law of attraction?” The book may be wrong on some important levels, but it also has a point. A small portion of our life is what happens to us, a much larger portion of life is how we perceive it and what we do about it; attitude is everything. Optimists will see the good things happening in their life. Plus, the more positive the person, the more it positively affects that person’s environment. Jesus calls Christians to be a light on a hill, the salt of Earth. We can influence the world we live in. Part of the law of attraction is true. But ask the innocent who suffer if their predicament is happening to them because they simply didn’t have a good enough attitude.Attitude doesn’t affect everything that happens to us, but it affects how we see things. A well known mantra is “people see what they want to see.” So the avid horoscope follower can see things coming true for them, but a good portion of it is because they were looking for it. In my opinion, Satan’s only power in horoscopes is when people trust the stars more than they trust Jesus.
Some people like to read their horoscope after the day is over to see how accurate it was, without letting it affect their day going in. I don’t even do this, but for the fun of it, I looked up my horoscope for today on Yahoo. I’m going to share it because of how absolutely ridiculous this is:
Cancer - May 11, 2013 “Don’t listen to any commands — or even advice — right now. Of course, if a cop pulls you over, you may want to obey, but few other authority figures are worth their salt for the time being.”
Wow. How horrible is this... don’t listen to commands. What about parents? What about bosses at work? Terrible, terrible advice, exactly the opposite of what Jesus would say.
For those of you who are wondering how this matched up with my day... Today there was only one person in a place of authority over me that I interacted with, and although he didn’t give me any orders today, what he did say to me was good, solid advice. To not listen to what he said today would have a negative impact on both my efficiency at work and on work as a whole.
In the end, your future is never really in your hands. You can be an optimist who positively influences the world around you and discover you have cancer or get hit by a drunk driver just as easily as a pessimist would. God is the only one who knows the future, and since God knows the best, you should trust his promises; you should trust God with your future.